Eprakone – ezoterika a spiritualita

Minule som sa po rozprave s Grooverom 😉 cez kyvadlo pýtala Gabriela na úlohu duší. Groover vtedy naznačoval, že duše v hmote sú akísi “odpadlíci“, ale mne to nepasovalo do svetonázoru – máločo na svete v mojom svetonázore je “náhodilé” a tak nejakí debkovia z najvyššej energie, ktorí sa od nej odtrhnú (a to viem, ako toto bolí), v mojom vnímaní sveta nemali opodstatnenie. Ak sa odtrhli, tak preto, že to malo nejaký zmysel. Ale aký? Mala som to zafixované tak, že naším účelom je poznávať hmotu. Mám slabý pocit, že už Gaia mi to vyvracala, ale vďaka tomu, že u mňa informácie idú jedným uchom dnu a druhým von, držala som sa svojej pôvodnej predstavy – pretože mi dávala najväčší zmysel.

No a Gabriel mi tentokrát povedal, že NIKOLIV. 😕

A to vyprovokovalo včerajšie snívanie (ja neviem, ja tieto všetky “pochôdzky” proste aj naďalej budem pchať do “šamanských ciest”, hoci to možno je niečo celkom iné):

V noci som bola za Gabrielom. Nešlo to celkom ľahko, večer som musela státie prerušiť pri tretej pesničke, pretože mi bolo na odpadnutie. Tak som sa odplazila do postele a pokúsila som sa vyliezť z tela.

Najprv som sa pokúšala znova nahmatať bod snívania a tentokrát som ho na obálke aj našla – len čo som ho nahmatala, cítila som vibráciu v oblasti pravého vaječníka, ale nepodarilo sa mi ho zatlačiť dovnútra (už je zasa vonku), akosi sa ruka nemala do čoho zaprieť, takže rátam, že mám zas rozhasenú energiu. Pred očami som mala oranžovozlatý dym a v hlave mi behala nejaká pesnička (asi Loca, loca, loca od Shakiry) a nedokázala som ju vypnúť, ale nakoniec som sa predsa len dostala do lesa. Nevidela som najlepšie, ale videla som koruny stromov a počula vtáky v nich. Tentokrát akoby ma les nechcel pustiť ďalej; akoby ma chcel vtiahnuť dovnútra, aby som ho skúmala. Chvíľku som váhala (ale skutočne len chvíľku 😛 ) a potom som sa vybrala na čistinku. Nebolo to ľahké, nevidela som dobre, ale nejako som sa snažila nepostupovať cez vnútorný monológ, ale cez pocit tela (Sánchez ma ovplyvnil; celkom zbytočne – aj tak potom frčal hlavne vnútorný monológ 😕 ).

Anjelské údolie ma síce priťahovalo, ale keď som už bola na čistinke, chcela som hovoriť hlavne s Gabrielom. Sadla som si na pník a volala som ho. Musela som zavolať viackrát; objavil sa sprava; prichádzal od Gaiinho údolia. Rozbehla som sa k nemu a on ma preniesol na svoj kopec, “pretože odtiaľ je veľký prehľad a odstup”.

Pýtala som sa na to, čo je úloha duší. Išlo to čiastočne cez slová a čiastočne cez obraz/pocit. Odrazu som pochopila a bolo to také strašné-úžasné-silné-otriasajúce, že sa mi ešte aj v tom sne podlomili nohy a musela som to spracovávať. Nedostala som to do slov ani vtedy, ale vedeli sme komunikovať na úrovni pocitu a tak vedel, že som pochopila.

Obraz vychádzal z predstavy o snívajúcom vedomí, ktoré nevie, čo je a nevie, či tam je ešte niečo okrem neho. Veciam dáva istú predstavu a formu, ale sú oblasti, ktoré ešte nesnívalo – a tam nik nevie, ako to vyzerá (to mi pripomína cestu za hranicu vesmíru). Postupne sa “presnívava” od svojho stredu ku krajom. Teraz na svojom okraji sníva hmotu. A vtedy som mala záber hmoty na okraji, ktorá puká ako vychádzajú z nej akoby nové a nové bubliny belasej peny – sníva ďalšie a ďalšie veci – čím sa celkový rozsah Všetkého-čo-je zväčšuje… Neviem to povedať inak. Akoby Otec sníval nás, aby sme snívali viac a viac z jeho existencie a dávali tomu nejakú podobu. A tým by podľa môjho doterajšieho chlievikovania bola hmota nie vonkajšia vrstva toho celého (“povrch”), ale druhá vonkajšia a úplne vonkajšia by bola astrál – to, čo snívame my.

A úplne zákerné na tomto obraze bolo to, že my sme snívali Otca…

🙂 My sme vlastne tá časť energie, ktorá tvorí nové reality vo vedomí Otca. “LASULOT KAPOGLA”. Nakoniec mi to možno nebude treba vysvetľovať. A Gabriel sa nemusí obávať; toto ma neprevráti. Už nie. 🙂

Do tohto mi potom zapadá aj to Gabrielovo a moje “snívanie” – ani on, ani ja nie sme reálne osoby, ale len produkt môjho snívania – a tým pádom opakujeme základný vzorec snívajúceho vedomia: vedomie sníva niečo, to niečo dostane kapacitu snívať a sníva niečo, to niečo dostane kapacitu snívať a … atď.

Mám z toho vnútro vyvrátené navonok. Nie je to presne bolesť, ale je to taký pocit, ako keď som sa Gabrielovi zadívala do očí a rozprášilo ma na atómy. Nič nedrží pokope. Som priestor medzi časticami hmoty, ktoré sú priestor medzi menšími časticami hmoty, ktoré sú pries… atď. Fraktály. Trasľavé ako huspenina, zraniteľné, a keď to zraníš, vyhrezne z toho bublinová pena a vytvorí novú vrstvu reality…

Gabriel sa mi aj snažil vysvetliť, čo je on a čo som ja. Tým obrazom som veľmi neporozumela, ale mali spoločnú jednu črtu – ani on, ani ja neexistujeme. Sme len súčasť čohosi, jedného veľkého celku. A ten zvyšok bol pre mňa natoľko neabsorbovateľný, že som ho zabudla. 😦 Nabudúce. Aj malé kroky sú kroky. 😕

Aha, a ešte… Počas státia som sa spýtala, kde na svojom rozvoji som. Dostala som vnem “bumerangu” – akoby vody, ktorá narazila na kolmú prekážku a od nej sa odráža späť, ale je zamrznutá v čase. 😯 Nemértem, ale snáď to nebude nič, čo ma nasrdí. 🙂

English translation:

Purpose of souls: to expand consciousness through dreaming

After our recent discussion with Groover 😉 I asked Gabriel with the help of the pendulum about the role of souls. Groover suggested that here in the material world we are kind of “renegades” but it did not fit my perception of the world – little in the world I perceive is accidental and so some derps that split off the higher energy (and I know, how much this hurts) did not make sense. If someone splits off than there might be a meaning, a sense behind it. But what sense? I somehow made up my mind that the reason is to explore matter. I have a faint feeling Gaia already tried to rebut this opinion of mine but as I usually listen and do not remember, I got stuck with my original idea as it made the most sense to me at the time.

Yet now Gabriel told me that NO WAY. : – ?

And it provoked yesterday’s dream (I do all these “errands” still call “shamanic journeys” although they might be something completely different):

I went to Gabriel. It was not quite easy; in the evening I had to stop my standing pole exercise after the third song of five because I felt like fainting. So I crawled into my bed and tried to get out of the body.

First, I tried to feel the point of dreaming with my hands and this time I felt it on my “envelope” (it is on the outside again) and when I touched it, I felt a vibration in the right ovary, but I was not able to push it inside – the hand had found no “substance” to prop against so I think my energy is once again out of balance. Behind the closed eyes I have seen orange smoke and a song played in my head (presumably Loca, loca by Shakira) and I was not able to turn it off, but somehow I succeeded in willing myself into my woods again. My sight was weak but I could detect the treetops and hear the birds in them. This time though the forest seemed to drag me in as if would not like me to go on with my journey and spend the time investigating the forest instead. I hesitated for a moment (but really just a moment 😛 ) and then I chose to proceed to my clearing. It was not easy, I did not see well but somehow I tried not to use my internal monologue but the perceptions of my body instead (Sánchez’s impact on me, and a quite pointless one as later on my internal monologue picked up commenting and guided me to the clearing 😕 ) .

Angel Valley attracted me, but being in the clearing I wanted to talk to Gabriel. I sat down on the tree stump and called him. I had to call several times before he appeared; he came from right, from the direction of Gaia’s Valley. I ran to him and he transported me to his hill “because from there you see into the wider distance”.

I asked him what was the role of the soul. The answer came partly through words and partly through image/feeling. Suddenly I understood and it was so terrible-amazing-strong-shattering to me that even in the dream my legs buckled and I had to process the knowledge first. I could not put it in words even afterwards but we could communicate at the level of feeling and so he knew that I had understood .

The image was based on the conception of a ​​dreaming consciousness not knowing what it is and not knowing if there is anything else besides itself. It gives a certain conception and form to things but there are areas it has not dreamed yet – and then no one knows what they might looks like (it reminds me of the journey beyond the confines of the Universe) . Gradually, it “dreams itself through” from the center to the edges. Now, it dreams “matter” on its edge. And then I had a glance of the edge as it splits apart and produces new and new layers of blueish “foam” – dreaming more and more things – thus expanding the range of All-there-is… I cannot describe it in an other way. As if the Father dreamed us into being to dream more and more of its existence and give it some shape. And thus, with reference of my already used categories, the matter would be not the outer layer (“surface”) but the second outer layer and the outer layer would be formed by what we dream – the astral.

A the most tricky point was that we dreamed the Original Dreamer…

🙂 We actually are that part of the energy that creates new realities in Father’s awareness. “LASULOT KAPOGLA”. Finally, I may not need to have it explained to me. And Gabriel has nothing to fear – this will not throw me out of my balance. Not anymore. 🙂

If this is the correct picture then my and Gabriel’s “dreaming” starts to make sense – both of us are no real persons, we are just a product of my dreaming – and thus we repeat the basic pattern of the dreaming consciousness: the consciousness dreams something into being, this something acquires the capacity to dream and dreams something into being, this something acquires the capacity to dream… and so on.

This perception turned my inside out completely. It’s not exactly pain, but it’s that feeling as when I looked into Gabriel’s eyes and it scattered me to atoms. Nothing is holding together. I am space between particles of matter who are space between smaller particles of matter that are space… etc. Fractals. Quivering like jelly, vulnerable, and if you hurt it a layer of foam prolapses and a new reality is created…

Gabriel also tried to explain what he is and what I am. I did not really get the meaning of those images but they had one trait in common – neither he nor I exist. We are just a part of something, one big whole. And the rest was so incomprehensible to me that I forgot about it . 😦 Next time. Small steps are steps as well. 😕

Oh, and while standing zhan zhuang I asked where I was in my development. I got the impression of “boomerang” – like water crashing into a solid obstacle and rebounding from it, but frozen in time. 😯 No idea, but let’s hope it is not anything to get mad about. :-